mad litigant in person

I sit in a County Court just south of London, a very pleasant Middle England kind of town, all nice houses and Daily Mail readers.

I am for a bank today in a case that concerns a Mortgage (god my work is topical), and therefore I think that I would stand a better chance of success if I were representing Stalin, Franco or the ruler of Dis.

Fortunately for me, and I am sure I will not be using that word after the hearing, my client is a professional litigant. Not a lawyer mind, just an individual who likes to go to Court.

I read his claim, and then I read it again, and again, and it still made no sense, it did not disclose a "cause of action" (legal term for the basis of a claim), it was a gripe against his bank, which he seemed to view to offer him the best possible deal, in fact he was asking to be put on a mortgage rate that he had himself designed, I am serious.

The bank refused.

I guessed he made other claims, often.

I arrived in the Court and saw a grey haired gentleman with a battered man purse, and concluded, rightly, that he was the Claimant, he had what might be termed, the look of a LIP, a litigant in person, otherwise known as a lunatic.

I promptly decided to hide in a conference room and stare at my computer.

The usher came to take my name, I asked if the grey man was the Claimant

"Yes"

"He is mad isn't he?"

"Yes, he is here often, he lives with his mother and has sued lots of people, the Judges are investigating him"

The George Carman of the populace has sued, among others

A company that makes hair dye for men;

Several supermarkets;

Bookmakers;

Other banks;

The same bank, and anyone who comes his way.

"Has he sued the Court, or the Court staff?"

"No, but he has made official complaints.

This afternoon will, no doubt, be another life affirming experience.